Arthur sings opera
Let’s break down specifically how it works, and how you can use it to do the things you really want to do. (If you find value in this lesson, you might be interested in my free emotional intelligence course, which provides a new tip for building emotional intelligence every day for a week.)
How ‘wait for it’ leverages neuroscience and emotional intelligence
I know what you’re thinking: How can telling myself to wait actually inspire me to take action?
I admit, it’s a surprising phrase. But it works because of the behavioral neuroscience behind the way motivation works.
“Motivation, defined as the energizing of behavior in pursuit of a goal, is a fundamental element of our interaction with the world and with each other,” writes Eleanor Simpson, Assistant Professor of Clinical Neurobiology at Columbia University, in The Behavioral Neuroscience of Motivation. “Meeting these needs is a requirement for survival, but in all cases the goals must be met in appropriate quantities and at appropriate times.”
Countless factors influence motivation at any given time, Simpson goes on to explain. These factors include our environment, how we feel physically, and our collective experience. Often times, we don’t have much control over many of those factors.
For example, in my recent situation, I had recovered from all major Covid symptoms. But physically, I didn’t yet feel like myself. Combine this with trying to navigate all the other challenges of my environment–taking care of the kids and running the business–along with the fact that I had gotten over Covid much quicker the first time around, and it’s no wonder I wasn’t yet emotionally ready to begin my full exercise routine again.
Here is where the “Wait for it” framework comes in.
To simply wait is to delay action until a particular time. But by telling yourself to “wait for it,” you imply that “it”–the thing that you want to do–is coming, without pressuring yourself to do it. It helps to reassure you that this is a process, reminding you that “goals must be met in appropriate quantities and at appropriate times,” as Simpson explains.
Additionally, although you may not be ready to take full action, telling yourself to “wait for it” can reinforce that you really want to do the thing you’re waiting for, as soon as you’re emotionally ready.
The wait for it framework isn’t meant to encourage procrastination. (If you’re struggling with procrastination, there are other tools you can use to help, like “the 5 minute rule” or “run the experiment.”)
Sometimes, though, you’re simply not ready to move forward with something, no matter how much you’d like to be. At these times, “wait for it” can help you build motivation.
How?
Rather than wait passively, “wait for it” requires that you do three things while you wait:
- Think about what you’re waiting for.
- Visualize what it will look like.
- Talk to others about it and seek advice.
For example, I knew I didn’t want to delay my exercise routine indefinitely. So, I kept thinking about how I would get started again: What’s a simplified version of my routine that I could start, when ready? What would it look like? As I answered those questions, I also sought advice from others on how to get started again.
By doing this, I prepared myself emotionally. I primed myself to take action, so to speak. So, once those physical and environmental factors fell back into place, and I had processed my overall collective experience, my brain was ready: I was able to restart my exercise routine. Without that framework, I may have remained stuck, even when things returned back to “normal.”
When you use the “wait for it” framework, you leverage a key principle of emotional intelligence:
Thoughts influence emotion. And emotions motivate action.
So, if you really want to do something, but for some, unexplained reason, the timing just doesn’t feel right, tell yourself:
Wait for it.
Then, use your time wisely: Think. Visualize. Seek advice.
Doing so will get your emotions in the right place. It’ll keep you from giving up, and once the time is right, you’ll be ready and able to take advantage.
The Vibrant Channeled Creator 